Why am I only horny when it’s inconvenient? It would be great if these feelings could just coincide with me being around somebody I can let them out on.
But if I’m where I think I’m gonna be after this next semester then I’ll be all set to apply to universities. I actually have never really even considered universities at all. I always coasted through life and never developed any sense of working hard for something I wanted. Things weren’t necessarily always handed to me, but I have been blessed in that my life has been very easy so far. This blessing, however, has also been a bit of a curse because I’ve never really learned how to work for things. I’ve always given up when things have gotten difficult. I don’t have a good sense of delayed gratification because my gratification has never been delayed. Everything about my life so far has been purely hedonistic and I’ve only put up with things I didn’t enjoy in incredibly small doses. That’s why it’s taken me five years to complete my AA at a community college when it should have taken me two tops. Over the last few years, though, I’ve realized that if I want to go into the field of work I want to go into, I need a university degree and I’m going to have to take classes I don’t want to take to get to the ones I do. I’ve realized that I need to get myself together or I’m going to end up working retail for the rest of my life. I’ll be that store manager (maybe) that just started working a job and never left because it was more comfortable to stay where I was. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boss and my managers, but I don’t ever want to end up like any of them. I want to actually do something that matters. I don’t want to be stuck serving ungrateful, rude customers that think they’re better than me. I don’t want to be stuck performing mindless, meaningless tasks to make the store look good for those same customers to just come in and destroy anyway. I don’t want to be stuck working around the kind of people that have made me somewhat lose my faith in the human race. I want to be surrounded by like-minded people that want to make a difference in the world we live in, people that care about something other than how much money they make, what car they drive, how many girls they can get, and who has the latest cosmetics. I want to be surrounded by people that understand that the amount of money you make at your job pales in comparison to how much you love what you do. I’m going to do everything I can to put myself in a position to do what I love. I’m going to apply to 9 universities (so far) in 5 different states. I’m terrified because of how I’ve handled school in the past, but I’m excited to actually go for something I’m afraid of in order to do something that matters.
With that said, dear zoology departments at: Cal Poly Pomona, Colorado State, Humboldt State, Northern Arizona Universit, San Jose State, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, UC Santa Barbara, and the University of Hawaii at Manoa,
Look out for me in the next year or so. Whichever of you selects me, you won’t be sorry and I’m going to make you proud <3